


Once Upon an Intoxicated Dick Grayson

by totallyfeelingtheaster



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Both are still in uniform, Dick gets reckless when he's drunk, Gen, Jason is protective of Dick, applicable to any fandom with both of them in it., because what is relaxing.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4521951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallyfeelingtheaster/pseuds/totallyfeelingtheaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick shows up smashed at Jason's apartment late at night and tries to give Jason a lecture on killing people. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon an Intoxicated Dick Grayson

**Author's Note:**

> Jason does not approve of Dick's exploits with alcohol. Inspired by a Tumblr post.

What the hell was that?

Jason's head snapped up, standing from his seat and pulling out his pistol, tiptoing towards the doorway of his apartment and stopping behind the door, gun raised. Has that pesky gang leader found me? I knew I should never have put myself in with that bastard...

"Jaybird, lemme in." A muffled voice came from behind the door. Shit, it's just Dick. He tucked his gun back into its holster and relaxed a bit, undoing the several locks that he had fastened and opening the door.

"Aye, Jaybird, Iwannatalktoyou." Dick raised his head a bit, taking Jason in slowly, body swaying back and forth unsteadily. God, is he hurt? Jason wondered, but as Dick pulled his mask off (he still had it on?) he could see that his eyes were red rimmed and his pupils dilated.

"Have you been drinking?" Jason asked with a smirk, closing the door behind Dick and watching as he made his way over to the lone piece of furniture in the room: the couch. He staggered and tripped twice on his way, and Jason ended up dragging him over despite the subtle lemmemego that he tried to mutter, arms weakly pushing at his helper to no avail.

Once the both were safely seated, and Jason was sure he couldn't hurt himself in any way, he rested his head on the side of the couch and waited for Dick to speak.

"Iwannatalktoyou."

"Obviously, seeing how you dragged yourself here like this. I own a phone, you know."

"Yunno Jaybird, you needa stop killin people." Either he didn't understand what Jason said or he chose to disregard it. He took a moment to compose himself before continuing.

"You needa stop, Jay. Cause yunno what happens whenyakillpeople?" How hasn't he fallen asleep yet? All of his words were slurring together and he was getting sleepier by the second. He leaned in a bit more, looking Jason in the eyes as best he could to deliver the end of his speech.

"They die, Jay. You'rekillingpeople, Jay. To death." Jason couldn't help but giggle at him. He was just so pathetically smashed.

"Say Dickiebird, how many shots have you had?"

"IdunnoJay. KoriandRachelboughtmeafew-" he paused to hiccup, "WallygotmesixIthink..." He needs to lay down. He's swaying.

"How did you even get here?"

"Idrove."

Okay, he's insane. "From where?"

"ThecluboveronCrimeAlley." Now Jason was shocked. He didn't live anywhere near Crime Alley. Did he really just drive drunk clear from the other side of Gotham? Something really bad could have happened to him. Whose idea was it to let him have his keys, anyway?

"Okay Dickie, let's get you to bed." God. I feel like a parent.

"ButIdon'twanna." His yawning said otherwise. Jason glared.

Dick scowled, but leaned forward after a pause to rest his forehead on Jason's shoulder. In less than a minute he was out. I should really have a talk with the others about buying him shots.

But for now, Jason was just glad he was safe.


End file.
